My Unconventional Path to Success: 5 Lessons Learned from Breaking Free from Approval
A while back, I made a pact with myself to stop justifying my actions and choices to others. I moved into a mode where I’d only share my accomplishments post-victory. None from my old crew had ever embarked on the journey I envisioned for myself. Not a single person in my circle had hit the six-figure mark, nor delved into spirituality as deeply as I had. This meant my motives were often met with puzzled looks rather than nods of understanding. Sure, I was supported (and man, am I grateful for that — wouldn’t have made it without them), but being understood? That’s another story. To this very day, I doubt my family can fully map out my trajectory or decode my dreams.
This stems from a conscious choice to not lay bare my aspirations, partly out of fear that they might be trivialized. By keeping my cards close to my chest, I’ve sidestepped unsolicited advice and instead, received congratulations upon crossing the finish line. Early on, I realized I didn’t need anyone’s nod to steer my life. That one time I sought approval was the last; I vowed to follow my heart henceforth.
Growing up, I craved peer approval; as an immigrant and a child of a single mother, I always felt on the fringe, perpetually trying to blend in. It wasn’t until I threw my graduation cap into the air that I grasped I no longer needed to justify myself to anyone. My narrative never did sync with the conventional tales around me, steeped in ambiguity and a patchwork of experiences.
Chasing after validation in a world obsessed with material gains and social standing? Not my jam. I broke free from that race early in adulthood, choosing instead to invest in experiences — solo travels, random seminars, bold risks — all without a roadmap or mentor. And here I am, charting territories unknown to my circles, exploring the many facets of myself, and pushing the envelope on my potential.
I’ve morphed into the person I once prayed to become, more adept at navigating risks, achieving goals, and expanding into realms I hadn’t even imagined. The key? Learning to detach from the need to seek validation or explain my existence.
Here are 5 nuggets of wisdom for the road ahead:
- Accepting oneself and defying external validation/Owning Your Truth: Constant self-justification is a dead-end street. True validation is self-generated. By ditching the need for approval, you step into your authenticity, unshackled from external expectations.
- Rejecting traditional narratives and embracing ambiguity/Ditching the Script: The cookie-cutter narratives don’t do justice to the rich tapestry of human experience. Let go of these limiting stories to embrace life’s beautiful complexities and uncertainties.
- Existentialist perspective on meaninglessness/Embracing Life’s Open-Ended Questions: Existentialism teaches us that life doesn’t come pre-loaded with meaning. Seeking validation is a futile exercise in a reality where no universal benchmarks exist.
- The Buddhist concept of non-self/Finding Freedom in Fluidity: Buddhism’s view of the non-self reminds us that clinging to a fixed identity is a path to dissatisfaction. Letting go allows us to find peace in the moment, liberated from the quest for approval.
- Specific context needed for accurate interpretation/Context is Crucial: Without knowing the full picture, interpretations can be murky. Understanding the backstory or the broader context can shed light on the deeper meanings and motivations at play.
As you navigate your path, remember these insights. They’re not just about rejecting external validation; they’re about embracing the journey to self-discovery and living life on your own terms.
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